Meanwhile, back at the parsonage

Wouldn’t it be nice if every minister’s partner got some sort of recognition gift from the congregation when the minister moves to a new pulpit? Just think about all the **** we have had to put up with for all those years. Here’s what I want. Think they can have that ready by August?

First, go read it for yourself: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,888754,00.html

So which one’s your favorite? I think I’m gonna have to go with this one: Thou shalt not take thy husband’s name in vain.

Can I do it when he forgets to take the donations for the social justice council collection box to the church for the third day in a row? How about when he procrastinates on writing his sermon so that the one Saturday night we have plans, he is pushing to go home so he can work on it?

No wait, maybe this one has some depths to be plumbed: Thou shalt not covet a taste beyond thy husband’s income.

Dang, and I was just getting set to order that new Porsche.

I recently devoured Carlene Cross’ book Fleeing fundamentalism : a minister’s wife examines faith. The whole world of fundamentalist religion of any sort is so foreign to me, I felt like I was visiting another planet as I followed Carlene’s life from Bible college through her life renewal through distancing herself from that past.

She did give me some insight into something that I have often wondered about — how do the spouses of those self-congratulatory, oh-so-certain-I-know-God’s-mind, I-also-know-what’s-best-for-you, rigid, controlling, assertive religious “leaders” who live lives in direct contradiction to their public moralizing, stand it? The simple answer is denial.

How long can Gayle Haggard go on fooling herself? I suspect as long as Ted goes on doing so.

Q: Where’s your husband today?

A: None of your business! Okay, I don’t really say that, but it really isn’t. Half the time he is somewhere that is confidential, which really puts me on the spot. So here is my all-purpose answer, feel free to adapt and use at will: “He is on the road today, but he’ll be back soon! So what did you think of the sermon this morning?”

Q: Would you like to join the church?

A: “Thanks for asking! That’s always an interesting issue that clergy spouses need to consider, and I will certainly be thinking about it here. So what did you think of the sermon this morning?”

Q: Why don’t you come to the women’s group / parenting group / covenant group …

A: “Thanks for asking! Is that a group that you have enjoyed being a member of? (And by the way, what did you think of the sermon this morning?)”