The annual winter rite known as the Stewardship Campaign is about to begin in my husband’s church. Seems like a good time to share our thinking on this topic! The issues are really twofold — does the minister’s family join the church as members? And how do they support the work of the church?
In our family, my husband and I answer those questions differently. He has chosen both to join his congregations as a member and to make a pledge, which comes out of “his” portion of the family resources. We have never really talked in-depth about his reasoning, but this is something he does every year.
I, on the other hand, absolutely do not join, and I don’t pledge either. If I were a member, I would have the right to vote on issues which affect my husband and his ministry. I would also have a duty to actively engage in the life of the congregation. Since I draw a clear boundary around my husband’s work and ministry (see my earlier posts on this topic!), I feel that it would be inappropriate for me to take on the rights and duties of membership of the church. I am not, and never will be, an equal participant with the other members of the congregation.
As for pledging, that is part of the membership duties. However, I do support the church financially on an ad hoc basis. I put money in the collection plate when I attend services. I give generously to special collections. I donate money to specific projects. I donate items to rummage sales, the food bank etc. In this way, I can support the work and life of the church in my special role as an “affiliated” person without establishing a reciprocal relationship with the congregation wherein I have rights and expectations, as would they.
